The CulinaryWoman Newsletter, 1/9/22

Dealing with grief in the workplace

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Dealing With Grief In The Workplace

Last week, I devoted my Washington Post column to grief in the workplace. Ti Adelaide Martin, the co-proprietor of Commander’s Palace, shared some of her wisdom about this emotional topic.

I reached out to her because it struck me that she’s been dealing with grief on a professional and personal basis for some time. In the past 20 years, she’s been challenged by the deaths of staff members, two significant hurricanes and the loss of her mother, Ella Brennan, a matriarch of New Orleans cuisine.

While I was able to include some of her thoughts in the column, I wanted to share more of her advice with you.

The most important thing that managers can do in times of grief, Ti says, is share “compassion and strength.” Employees, especially younger ones, want to see their boss acknowledge what they are going through.

“That thoughtfulness is how they are going to judge you,” Ti says. “There are some people who don’t want an acknowledgement” of their suffering. “But I think that for most people, acknowledgment is key.”

That acknowledgment does not always have to come from the person at the top. When she hears about difficulties facing an employee, Ti often tries to figure out who is closest to them. Then, she asks them to keep an eye on the person, and let her know if she needs to play an active role.

“We are a family business, and we are not afraid to act like it,” she says.

Taking time to recharge

With the pandemic now approaching its second anniversary, Ti says she’s trying to think up ways to keep her troops fresh.

Over the holidays, she decided to close on Christmas Eve, and gave the staff several days off. She’s had a masseuse come in for 15 minute treatments. “Everybody just needs the gesture,” she says.

Restaurants simply can’t plow forward when Covid is continually causing disruptions across the country. “Any problem you ignore is just going to come back and bite you,” she says.

Ti says she’s been distressed at seeing customers vent their frustration on servers and other staff. “I’ve seen employees who were just shaking,” she says. “People are not in a good emotional or mental state right now.”

If they abuse one of her employees, however, the customer is banned. “You are not allowed to come in here and act like that,” she says.

Listening to her mother

This spring marks the fourth anniversary of her mother’s death, a moment that Ti long dreaded. “She was my best friend and hero and I thought I would never recover when she died,” she said. Instead, “It’s been very different.”

Ti says she cried for a month after her mother’s passing, but then, the tears stopped. She remembered that her mother told her she was going to “the great saloon in the sky” and the image of her mother hosting heavenly guests helped her put her death in perspective.

The pair also had talked about the tribute Ti would pay to Ella. “I remember sitting with her, six months before she died, and she said, ‘When I die, don’t close the restaurant,’” Ti recalls.

Instead, Ti suggested that she turn off the restaurant’s sign and dim its street lights for one evening. “That’s a good idea,” her mother replied.

That simple approach — acknowledging a loss, but continuing to go on — is a workable way to handle things as the industry faces its uncertain situation.

For Your Next Trip To Paris

You may have seen my friend Blair DuQuesnay on CNBC, or listened to her podcast, The Belle Curve, on which I was a guest. Late last year, Blair was treated to a trip to Paris for her 40th birthday.

She managed to get there and back amid the Covid restrictions that have caused many people to delay or postpone their trips, although one suitcase decided to stay in Paris temporarily.

I’d love to go back to Paris and when I do, I’m going to take along this list of tips on shopping at Paris markets from Emily Gaudichon.

They appeared on David Lebovitz’ website, and even though I’ve been to Paris markets many times, I still learned some fresh etiquette suggestions. I love Emily’s method for freezing baguettes - break them in half, put them in the paper bag they came in, and freeze them solid. At serving time, bring them to room temperature, or microwave them gently.

You can follow her on Instagram @thereal_emilyinparis.

Hopefully, we can all travel more freely in 2022, but in the meantime, Emily’s tips make for a fun armchair adventure.

Dry January And Chicken Broth Drinks

Are you attempting Dry January — or like me, are you a sober drinker all year? Either way, the Takeout has published my advice for getting through the month.

One thing I found most helpful was to move alcoholic drinks from their usual spot, and swap non-boozy ones in their place.

Many people automatically head to the fridge for a cold beer or glass of wine after work. If you only remove it and don’t replace it, you might be tempted to rout your stash out of its hiding place.

Instead, use this as an opportunity to try some interesting zero alcohol brews or some flavorful sparkling sodas. I’m a big fan of Casamara Club varieties, which can be mixed with lemonade for a refreshing zero alcohol cocktail.

You can also make your own. I got a Soda Stream for Christmas and after a mishap in which I over-carbonated a bottle and covered the kitchen counter with fizzy water, I’ve mastered the technique of making my own drinks.

Meanwhile, there are some suggestions in this story for concocting beverages using chicken broth. You can include alcohol, if you like, but you also might think about flavoring your broth with herbs, sauces and spices.

Don’t think of chicken broth as only a soup course. Pack yourself a thermos for your next cold outing, and enjoy its savory taste.

My Latest Book News

I had an unexpected treat last week: the first big review of Satisfaction Guaranteed. I couldn’t be happier with the reception it received from Kirkus Reviews, an important industry trade publication. You can read the entire review here.

Meanwhile, if you visit Zingerman’s Deli or any Zingerman’s food spot this month and next, you will find a Q&A with me about the book in their newsletter. It was a treat to see my caricature by legendary designer Ian Nagy.

Zingerman’s Roadhouse is hosting an event for the book on Feb. 23, the day after publication. Tickets include a lot of appetizers, a signed copy of the book and the chance for us to say hello. I hope to meet some CW readers there!

I’m posting book updates on the CulinaryWoman Facebook page as well as my website. Please check regularly to see what’s planned.

Keeping Up With CulinaryWoman

You can reach me at culinarywoman at gmail dot com. My Twitter and Tik Tok are @culinarywoman. My Instagram is @michelinemaynard and you can find me under my full name at LinkedIn.

The pandemic is causing all kinds of upheaval across the business world. In coming weeks, please be sure to check with your favorite places to see whether they are open, and how they are doing business (placing pre-orders is always a good bet).

Get your booster, wear a mask and stay safe. See you next week!