The CulinaryWoman Newsletter, Independence Day Edition

The only rules you need for dining when you travel

Welcome to the CulinaryWoman Newsletter. A belated Happy Canada Day to Canadian friends and family. I hope our American readers are enjoying the start to Independence Day celebrations, and that you took tomorrow off for a nice long holiday weekend.

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The Only Rules You Need To Dine Out When You Travel

Posts about rules have become clickbait. My friends who follow the British royal family roll their eyes when someone writes about alleged standards the aristocrats have to follow (most of them are imaginary). If you’re on Facebook, you’ve probably seen that New York Times story on “How To Avoid Looking Like A Tourist In New York.”

The funny thing is, a lot of tourists - probably most nowadays - don’t really care. When they leave home, they act the way they do at home. No amount of shaming or side eye or snickers deter them. Unless they are curious about the customs of people in a particular place, they stay in their behavioral bubble - or act up. A New Yorker essay cheekily argued that travel “turns us into the worst versions of ourselves.”

Americans have gotten a bad rep for acting boorish abroad for generations, but believe me, it is not simply Yanks. I’ve been in Switzerland and overheard tacky tourists from the U.K. I’ve been at formal dinners in Brazil where the European visitors got loud, as JLo would say. I remember watching a group of Asian shoppers sweep en masse into an elegant Toronto department store, sending sales people scurrying to catch up.

To put it plainly, nobody is completely cool when they travel to a place for the first time — unless they’ve made a little effort to figure things out. That includes the way people eat.

I’d like to provide some common sense guidelines that can be useful when you parachute into a new location abroad. There is lots of summer left to put them to use, and with all the photos flooding my social media feeds, I can see that you may appreciate them.

Start before you leave

You may be expecting your experience to sbegin when you get off the plane. But Henry Harteveldt, the travel analyst and great friend of the newsletter, says it actually starts much earlier.

“I'm lucky to have grown up in New York City, and with parents who both enjoyed eating foods from different countries and cultures, and who also traveled,” he says. “That helped to prepare me for when I eventually did take my first trip abroad.”

I was already a fan of Japanese food when I made my first visit there. My introduction came at Sushi-ko, a set of restaurants that came to the Detroit area soon after Ford and Mazda announced a joint venture.

I started simply, with tuna rolls and cucumber rolls, and I moved on to enjoy nigiri sushi (pieces of fish on top of seasoned rice).

When I went to live in Tokyo, I was grounded in the basics, and could easily handle chopsticks. My exploration in Michigan, like Henry’s in NYC, was a wonderful preparation.

Be open to local habits

I was lucky enough to visit Europe twice the year I turned sixteen. The first time was to stay during the summer with my French family in Paris and Chateauroux, in the middle of France. The second trip that fall was to Italy, with my mother and Maxine.

Both trips were eye-openers to me when it came to local dining habits. At home, my French family had a quick breakfast, including cafe au lait or hot chocolate drunk out of traditional bowls. Nothing cooked, only pieces of baguette with jam, or sometimes cold cereal.

They had their biggest meal at lunch time, and only a light dinner in the evening. I noticed that the meals often included a plate of thinly sliced French ham, and after a few times, I asked whether it was a particular favorite.

No, they had gotten it for me: they were actually vegetarians, but figured an American would expect meat. I assured Madame that there was no reason to keep serving it, because I was perfectly okay with veggie dominant meals.

When we arrived in Rome, Maxine immediately faced a problem. She was a coffee lover who arrived early each morning at her University of Michigan laboratory and drank an entire pot before her co-workers arrived. She also had a cup of coffee at night, after supper, and slept soundly.

Italian espresso, as you may know, is quite low in caffeine, and after a day or two, she had headaches from caffeine withdrawal. Our breakfast waiter came up with a solution. He kept her steadily supplied with Americanos — espresso stretched with hot water. They did not have the flavor she was used to, but multiple cups resolved her headaches.

Years later, I encountered my first Japanese breakfast (not the alt music singer) at a ryokan in Hakone. Nothing on the table remotely resembled what I was used to eating to start the day.

It was a variety of cooked and fermented small dishes that were more like lunch, including sheets of seaweed, called nori, pickles and miso soup. I had to search for something I could handle at that hour, and settled on salmon and rice.

My hosts, who were enjoying everything in front of them, noticed me struggling, and when we got back to Tokyo, they took me to a western lunch at the Park Hyatt, the hotel featured in Lost In Translation. I vowed there and then that the next time a traditional breakfast was put in front of me, I would attempt to eat more of it.

Notice the tiny details

A sophisticated friend recently posted in horror about an American tourist that she observed ordering cappuccino to drink with lunch in Paris. The French have coffee to end the meal, a demitasse sized cup, perhaps with sugar, but never frothed milk. To be honest, I was more horrified that the tourist had left their spoon in the cup, rather than place it on the saucer.

But they were not first to make a coffee mistake. I had to be educated in similar coffee etiquette on assignment in Italy. I was there with a photographer who required continuous espresso and cigarette breaks. I only have a double espresso to start the day and rarely another one after that, but I felt obligated to match him cup for cup.

On an afternoon stop, I finally ordered a cappuccino, thinking the milk could soften the acidic reaction. I was informed by the charming barista that he was making an exception for me, but he normally did not serve cappuccino at that hour. It was something I never would have realized without his tutoring.

There’s an entire tips post that could be written about the use of chopsticks in Japan, but this video sums them up nicely.

Make a little effort

Summer tourism can be a hot, sticky affair, especially when you’re walking up stairs, going in and out of cathedrals, and having lunch in outdoor cafes. Hardly anyone is thinking about fashion; they are just thinking about comfort.

But once the sun sets (or the hour becomes later), it’s nice to make an effort. Go back to your hotel or AirBNB, tidy up, and change into something else for dinner. Cover up those bare midriffs, and set aside the shorts, and that goes for the teens, too. I used to get teased by my friends for changing for dinner, but when I looked around restaurants at neatly dressed locals, I was happy that I did.

Any woman has room in their bag for a simple summer dress, or a top and pants that can be dressed up with some accessories. When it comes to men, I asked Henry to share some of his thoughts.

“If you’re going to a destination known for fine dining, then yes, men should definitely pack a nice pair of shoes, neat trousers, a nice long-sleeved business casual or dress shirt (be sure to check and insert collar stays, if needed), and either a dark-colored sweater, such as a navy or dark gray V-neck sweater or a blazer,” Henry says.

“I am not sure if many restaurants still require men to wear a tie. To be certain, check the restaurant’s website before you finish packing. Ties are one of the easiest things in the world to pack.”

How am I supposed to know this?

Great, you might be saying, but how am I supposed to know these things? Here’s where locals can help.

I highly recommend that you book a tour, whether walking or mobile, with a locally based expert. When my mother and her friends visited London, I set them up with a private tour guide. He had his own vintage Daimler and drove them to Windsor Castle, where they were among the first people to see it after the massive 1992 fire.

Paris abounds with private guides. I am a huge fan of Claudine Hemingway, above, who goes by Bleu Blonde Rouge. She has a fantastic Instagram account and books custom tours for her clients. She is an expert on the Louvre and also loves fine dining. Another Paris choice is The Real Emily In Paris, an Australian married to a Frenchman, who is a trained chef. Emily can offer market tours, picnics, flea market visits and also can teach cooking classes.

When you work with someone privately, you can ask the kind of etiquette questions that you might not feel comfortable asking someone with a flag who is leading a group.

Of course, you can ask your taxi or Uber driver for restaurant recommendations. But Henry says restaurant owners themselves are great sources of information.

“I remember asking the owners of two small restaurants we would go to regularly (one focused on traditional British-style cooking, and one French) if they had any advice so I wouldn't be perceived as a ‘bad American tourist,’” he says.

They offered similar tips: “Be polite, and be open to trying new things, as long as I wasn't allergic to it and it was made with ingredients I generally liked to eat,” he says.

The last thing I would suggest is that you should always greet and say goodbye to the maitre d’, your server if they are nearby, and the bartender, if you have tapas or a lengthy drink. Those greetings will identify you as a polite customer, and you might receive a warm welcome when you return.

Two Streaming Shows With Food Revelations

With Ted Lasso and the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel both finished last month, I was searching for something new to watch on Netflix. I kept getting a recommendation for a Japanese show that was puzzlingly called, “The Full Time Wife-Escapist.” Hunting around the Web, I found that the Japanese title translated as “We Married As a Job.”

The show is drawn from a popular series of manga comics that focus on Mikuri Moriyama, a hapless psychologist, and Hiramasa Tsuzaki, an awkward salaryman who considers himself a “professional bachelor.” Hiramasa initially hires the unemployed Mikuri to become his housekeeper. Endlessly teased by his colleagues because he is not married and has no girlfriend, he asks Mikuri to move in and become his common-law wife, paying her a salary to do all her household chores. Of course, love eventually ensues.

The show is funny and touching and romantic, and one of its defining feature is food. Mikuri is an amazing cook, who prepares every meal for the couple, from breakfasts like the one I had in Hakone, to delectable bento boxes for his lunch, to gorgeous dinners every evening. One of the features of each episode is the reveal of the meals she has made for him.

This is a focus on home cooking that we don’t often get in a chef-driven media world, and I was fascinated by seeing Mikuri’s meticulous preparations. There’s a segment concerning a fancy rice cooker that’s especially fun for those of us who love Japanese appliances.

Meanwhile, my favorite Korean program, Welcome! First Time In Korea? has brought back the family from New Zealand that proved so popular with viewers. This time, the four brothers are joined by their parents, who are incredibly adventurous (they go parasailing and race car driving) and who like the boys, love to eat.

A full 30 minutes of their arrival episode is spent enjoying chimaek — fried chicken and beer. We are treated to three different preparations of tasty chicken. The platters look enormous for even the family of six to polish off. But every morsel disappears.

In episode two, they dig into the giant crab that is a signature dish on Jeju Island, and there is an imaginative birthday cake for one of the brothers.

Welcome! is a fantastic resource to learn about Korean food, and previews of the upcoming episodes show that these Kiwis will be doing a lot more eating.

Which Restaurant Chains Will Hit It Big Next?

Every year, the trade publication Nation’s Restaurant News comes out with its Top 500 Report, a ranking of restaurant chains by revenue and numbers of outlets. McDonald’s and Starbucks have a grip on the top spots, but The Takeout dove into the report to find out which chains are about to become big players.

They discovered that four are waiting in the wings: Dutch Bros Coffee, Dave & Buster’s, Auntie Annie’s, and Crumbl Cookies. You might be a fan of pretzels, sweets and bar food, but to me, Dutch Bros is the most attractive of the bunch.

I was introduced to the mostly drive-up stands (a few have some limited seating) by Mark Remillard when I lived in Phoenix. Dutch Bros was founded in Oregon in 1992, and for much of its history, has focused on the west coast and the southwest. There still aren’t Dutch Bros on the east coast or in the Midwest, but the chain seems poised to add them.

Dutch Bros features friendly staff and baristas who come out to your car with tablets to take your order during busy times. This isn’t elite single-origin stuff; they offer a wide variety of flavored coffee drinks and especially frozen concoctions. Last year, their revenue jumped almost 29 percent to $1.2 billion.

Even though Ann Arbor abounds with local coffee choices, I would definitely sneak out to a Dutch Bros if one shows up here.

Keeping Up With CulinaryWoman

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I’m taking the day off tomorrow from posting Red Beans And Advice, but paid subscribers will get the CulinaryWoman Reading Room on Wednesday. I’ll see everyone else next week. Happy Fourth!